My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
