Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
