sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
