your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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