No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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