when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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