dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
