tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
