hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
