I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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