She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
