Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
