I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
