i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
