Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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