After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
