we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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