The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
