I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
