i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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