I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
