Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
