I cockslap morals
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize