My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
