first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
