I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
