we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He shit in the fireplace
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
