I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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