No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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