Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
