no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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