just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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