I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
In America we eat man semen.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
