I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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