I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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