i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
