Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
