I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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