I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
