capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize