he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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