ya dads aren't the best wingmen
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
