hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
be right there i have to get my cape
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
