sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
