Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
where am i from again
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
