I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
