I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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