Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
