Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
