i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Barsexuality is the new black.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
