she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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