Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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