You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
