I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
