My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
