Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Randomize
