just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
