He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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