can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
