so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
