So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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