come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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